Although there's no magic number of times you need to have sex in a marriage, lack of sex of emotional connection, and lead to infidelity. So what should you do if you and your spouse aren't having sex? Curiosity is important, as reigniting the flame requires getting to the root of the problem. We'll cover these issues in more detail later, along with the different types of sexless marriages and common problems that arise when married couples stop having sex. First, it's important to realize that a sexual resurgence is possible, especially when couples are willing to seek professional help.
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Some words of wisdom from experienced sex therapists.
No one talks about having a sexless marriage. The closest I get is hearing other men joking about their wives not being interested in sex any more, but we were never really interested in sex, even when we met 25 years ago. I met Alison at a party and was smitten straight away. She was just a delight to be with and I loved her company and very quickly loved her. We spent as much time together as we could and although we hugged and kissed and held hands neither of us mentioned going further. When I proposed I did the whole thing of asking her dad, buying a ring and taking her out for a romantic dinner. We were quite relaxed and while we were away on honeymoon we had sex a few times I think because we felt we should and we were delighted when Alison got pregnant straightaway. She was quite sick and then feeding, so our daughter was actually nearly two when we had sex again. None of our friends or family would believe that we have a sexless marriage.
Life after lust – the appeal of sexless marriage
Recently, a year-old man posted something stupid on Reddit. This is not breaking news—this happens likely thousands of times per day, but the post made it over to Twitter , and people went in. The issue at hand? The haircut is just a tangible thing that you are focusing on. Reddit has long been a sanctuary for people in sexless marriages. I'm realizing how much of his joy is missing in a sexless marriage[. The traditional read: heteronormative and sexist narrative is that men are always ready to have sex, while women are constantly faking headaches to avoid it. According to Pam Costa, M. Sex can start to become less frequent as couples encounter road bumps like depression, physical health concerns, the loss of loved ones, pregnancy, childbirth, and miscarriages, or as a result of mismatched desire levels. And no matter the reason, Costa says that honest communication about sex can help.
Many couples fall into periods of sexlessness over the course of a marriage. And yet sexless marriages are still treated as a taboo subject. Over time, spouses may start feeling more like roommates than sexual partners. And it can become a cycle in which not having sex breeds more sexlessness and makes the thought of doing it more awkward or intimidating. We asked sex therapists to share the common causes behind sexless marriages so you know what to look out for in your own relationship. In relationships, communication is key, certainly when it comes to the more intimate matters, like sex. Talking about your fantasies , your desires and your insecurities requires vulnerability, which can be uncomfortable for some people. Chronic stress can lead to elevated levels of the hormone cortisol in the body, which can mess with your sex drive.