Butt stuff is an entirely different type of play from oral and vaginal sex for many reasons. Those who love anal sex are often appreciative of its highly intimate nature and the unique sensation of fullness it gives the receiver. Having said that, butt stuff should be something you choose to do — not something you do to please anyone but yourself, and certainly not something anyone can be pushy or coercive about doing with you.
I think it's sage to listen to yourself when you say that maybe you don't want to get into something you're both not sure about and are not sure you'll like. If only one partner has any interest in doing an activity, and the other either has none, or is opposed to it, it's generally best to just decline. Starting anal play with penis -to- anus intercourse full-stop isn't the best idea, anyway, on both those counts and more. So, for starters, to figure out if you even have any interest in this yourself, and enjoy this at all, rather than starting with something so much larger -- and in some ways, less easy to control -- instead, if you emphasis on YOU want to experiment with anal play, the way to start is with something much smaller and more gradual, like his or your own gloved, lubed pinky finger. If playing like that isn't compelling for you both, or if that doesn't feel good, anal intercourse isn't likely to feel good either. They're passages through which fecal matter passes. So, while there can be trace amounts of feces in there, and yes, that may have a scent, that's all that's there. What does that mean? Well, for starters, it means always always using plenty of latex-safe lubricant and a latex barrier with anal play -- anal sex of any kind carries STI risks at the level vaginal intercourse does, as well as additional bacterial infection risks, and the anus and rectum don't self-lubricate like the vagina does, so both are vital to safe play with such delicate tissue. Using a condom with anal sex isn't about putting a barrier up because the anus and rectum are gross: it's important to keep everyone healthy.
Anal sex can hurt, that much seems clear. But a new study of British teenagers also reveals a few aspects of this sexual activity that are perhaps more surprising. The researchers interviewed teens ages 16 to 18 from diverse backgrounds, and asked them about their perceptions of different sexual practices, as well as their own experiences. The results showed that most teens' anal sex experiences occurred in a relationship setting, but first experiences with anal sex were rarely under circumstances of mutual exploration of sexual pleasure. Instead, it was mainly men who pushed the women to try anal sex, and men said they felt expected to take this role. Moreover, the teens expected men to find pleasure in anal sex, whereas women were mostly expected to endure the negative aspects of anal sex, such as pain or a damaged reputation. The results also revealed somewhat surprising, and in some cases concerning, aspects of anal sex. However, the findings may not be generalizable to all populations, because they are based on a small study of heterosexual teenagers. Young men in the study appeared to perceive having anal sex as a feat in competition. Even though not all the young men in the study said they wanted to have anal sex, many of them said men encourage one another to try the practice.
Pop quiz! Lots of women who've been there and done that say it's a welcome addition to their sexual repertoire. But just like you must walk before you can run, you must have some sort of anal foreplay before you go for the full monty of anal sex. Or, you know, you can do butt play and leave it at that forever, because it's your booty and you make the rules. You hopefully already know the basics: ALWAYS use lube, never put something that was in your butt in your mouth or vagina, and butt plugs are your friend. But there's so much more to know about anal play, and so here, several sexperts break down their best anal foreplay tips for both first-timers and experienced butt travelers. Happy butt stuff!